The Origin of the Sprite Darter as told by Sorvad the only Cockney Orc.
(Translated by Jeeves)
'Allo bruvvers an' sistas. Fo'ks call me Sorvad, but enuff chatta.
(Greetings fellow readers. People call me Sorvad, but I digress.)
I'm 'ere ta tell you 'bout 'ow sprite darters came to be. One day an eguana was just trapsin frough da woods.
(I am here to explain the origins of how sprite darters came into exsistence. One day an iguana was in the forest. Most likely Feralas for that is their standard habitat.)
Alla da su'en a 'orney bu'erfly came shootin' down outta da bruf. Ee wanat jus' any bu'erfly. Ee was Nigel da bu'erfly sex manic.
(A butterfly flew with great haste out of the brush. Apparently, he was the infamous butterfly sex deviant Nigel. Oh dear, I don't think I care for where this is going.)
An'ow dere ee was, ee came shoo'in' down outta da trees an' start'd bugg'rin' dis eguana! 'Avin' 'imself a bit o' time.
(He flew out of the trees...I would hardly call trees "brush", but I will ignore that for now. As I was saying Nigel seemed to start commiting unnatural acts with the aforementioned iguana. Oh my...how awful.)
Aftaw'ds dat eguana was carr'in' 'eir bastard spawn. Dat an' she et 'im. Which made 'olidays aqkward 'round de ole sprite darter 'ouse.
(It seems soon after (don't ask me to clarify how exactly) the iguana soon became in the family way as they say. The iguana also seems to have ingested the butterfly, which apparently made family gatherings uncomfortable at the sprite darter household.)
Li'l did day know, Nigel was watchin' dem from the Bu'erfly Hell. Weepin' an' nashin' 'is tiey bu'erfly teef. Sur'ounded by plas'c flo'ers, cats, spi'ers, an' dev'l bu'erfly collec'rs, why all deh time 'is mutn't spawn sat un'owing in der 'ouse ign'nant of der twis'ed ori'ins.
(On can only assume this is mostly speculation on Mr. Sorvads part, but I shall continue to translate. It would seem Nigel ,the sex deviant butterfly, gazed up from "Butterfly Hell". Where he was surrounded by plastic flowers, cats, spiders, and demonic lepidopterists. His unfortunate ,and more then likely, unintended children remained ignorant of their sad and somewhat implausible origins. One would beg the question about Butterfly Hell in this context, but I assume there is some form of Butterfly Pope that resides over such things. So we shall alleviate such thoughts and move on.)
An' dats 'ow dprite darters came ta be.
(This concludes the somewhat dubius origin of the sprite darter.)
(Translated by Jeeves)
'Allo bruvvers an' sistas. Fo'ks call me Sorvad, but enuff chatta.
(Greetings fellow readers. People call me Sorvad, but I digress.)
I'm 'ere ta tell you 'bout 'ow sprite darters came to be. One day an eguana was just trapsin frough da woods.
(I am here to explain the origins of how sprite darters came into exsistence. One day an iguana was in the forest. Most likely Feralas for that is their standard habitat.)
Alla da su'en a 'orney bu'erfly came shootin' down outta da bruf. Ee wanat jus' any bu'erfly. Ee was Nigel da bu'erfly sex manic.
(A butterfly flew with great haste out of the brush. Apparently, he was the infamous butterfly sex deviant Nigel. Oh dear, I don't think I care for where this is going.)
An'ow dere ee was, ee came shoo'in' down outta da trees an' start'd bugg'rin' dis eguana! 'Avin' 'imself a bit o' time.
(He flew out of the trees...I would hardly call trees "brush", but I will ignore that for now. As I was saying Nigel seemed to start commiting unnatural acts with the aforementioned iguana. Oh my...how awful.)
Aftaw'ds dat eguana was carr'in' 'eir bastard spawn. Dat an' she et 'im. Which made 'olidays aqkward 'round de ole sprite darter 'ouse.
(It seems soon after (don't ask me to clarify how exactly) the iguana soon became in the family way as they say. The iguana also seems to have ingested the butterfly, which apparently made family gatherings uncomfortable at the sprite darter household.)
Li'l did day know, Nigel was watchin' dem from the Bu'erfly Hell. Weepin' an' nashin' 'is tiey bu'erfly teef. Sur'ounded by plas'c flo'ers, cats, spi'ers, an' dev'l bu'erfly collec'rs, why all deh time 'is mutn't spawn sat un'owing in der 'ouse ign'nant of der twis'ed ori'ins.
(On can only assume this is mostly speculation on Mr. Sorvads part, but I shall continue to translate. It would seem Nigel ,the sex deviant butterfly, gazed up from "Butterfly Hell". Where he was surrounded by plastic flowers, cats, spiders, and demonic lepidopterists. His unfortunate ,and more then likely, unintended children remained ignorant of their sad and somewhat implausible origins. One would beg the question about Butterfly Hell in this context, but I assume there is some form of Butterfly Pope that resides over such things. So we shall alleviate such thoughts and move on.)
An' dats 'ow dprite darters came ta be.
(This concludes the somewhat dubius origin of the sprite darter.)
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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx
